Saturday, January 31, 2009

Reality ......~~!!!!!

Just knowing that he's happy makes me smile,
But realizing he's happy without me and fine with it hurts the most...

I've never seen him so happy....so cheerful....Now that I see that smile on his face,I realize that he doesn't need me,he never really wanted to be with me....!!

I am gradually getting to realize what he had in his mind,when he wanted me to hear the song "Careless Whispers"...

Perhaps,he knew I will be able to relate to that song after he's not in my life.

:)

"He said it all...
I felt it all...
He made me believe it all..."


After all those tears he has given you,you still manage to love him and despite everything,you can never hate him and you can never learn not to love him and he doesn't learn to love you!!





Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The girl who "WAS"...!!!


I used to know a girl who used to live life on her own terms.She had her own strange principles.A girl with a clean conscience.She had her own morals and values in life instilled in her by her parents,teachers and some like-minded friends.

She believed in giving each relationship the required space,maintaining the dignity of everyone around her and never mixed relationships.
She had her own dreams,her own world of hopes and wishes which she did not share with anyone...

She was very friendly and frank with the people who were close to her but very reserved for strangers.

One of the most level-headed person I had ever come across.

She could do anything to help her friends.A patient listener,A brilliant conversationalist.

She could convince people pretty well and could make anyone around her feel comfortable.

She literally proved the quote true -
"I'm the kind of girl with no secrets,yet I'm trusted to keep everyone else's."


She truly was!!!!!!!!!

She knew many many many secrets about many people and she always kept them to herself.[She still does :) ]

There were those secret-sharers who had become strangers for her [Some had even become back-biters],but she never ever broke the trust they "HAD" put in her.

She never kept any personal grudges towards anyone.

She had her own rules for life which were quite contrary to the thinking of the friends in her circle;But that never changed her.

I silently used to observe her and I was quite happy that she never tried to change,thinking she was the "odd-one-out".

I always thought she'll never change.

This was true till she entered her college..................................................!!

A whole new world was around her.She was a very introvert girl but she somehow managed to join some of the people she already knew since her school days[Fortunately,she had some of her acquaintances around,with whom she "THOUGHT" she'll be very HAPPY...Obviously,she was proved wrong.]

She tried to gel with all of them.Inspite of being very uncomfortable she pretended to be comfortable....

This couldn't last long.

She was a very different kind of a person & no matter how much she tried she couldn't overcome her basic nature.

She HAD TO CHANGE,not because of them but because of her own good.Afterall,she had to be with those people for 4 years....

She had to pretend every moment at college.She was no longer "the most helpful person" I had ever come across.She bluntly refused for any help.

She had become rude towards everyone.

She had lost some of her best friends and this made her doubt everyone's friendship.

People who had promised to be with her forever were no longer with her & the worst part was she did not even know why had they become so apart.

There were some other people with whom she was forced to part ways.

She was no longer friends with the people to whom she used to talk for hours together,share the most stupid talks,have silly conversations and still wanting to talk more.Her friends who taught her how to dream and how to be hopeful & optimistic,who made her adore music,who made her love life and the one who taught her how to love-All of them & many more had all left her to face the world alone.....
Some moments no one could ever bring back,some relationships she could not recreate.....There were friends whose absence mattered so much that the presence of the entire world hardly made any difference.She missed all those wonderful times when she was with the people she loved to be with.

She was not the most talkative girl any longer,'cause she had no one to listen to.

The people with whom she shared everything were not with her and she couldn't accept new people in her life.

She wanted to hold on to the memories;The new people she had come across could not make her feel even half the way her old friends did.

She couldn't get along well with them,even though she tried her best.

It was not that she did not like them or she hated them.

It was perhaps that the people did not like her,may be because she was an introvert or because she was DIFFERENT!

Her so-called college friends used to enjoy partying,watching movies and had a great time whenever they were together.

However,her presence never mattered to them.
Her opinions and her thoughts were never considered.



This had hurt her a lot and she was compelled to change.
People used to tell her to move on,but they had not been in her place;They hadn't perhaps gone through what she was going through.

She felt extremely low and side-tracked.

There were some others who used to leave no stones unturned to insult her.

Moreover,she's no longer friends with me also....

It's not that I left her or people left her;She herself let those people go.

And I'm quite sure,she's happier and her life must be much more peaceful now.I surely do miss her,but somewhere may be I had also taken her for granted and I could not stand by her and live upto her minor expectations....

[Don't let your friends leave you.Hold onto them,'cause you might miss them once they are gone,like I do...!!!!]